The Close of 1997 
8/11/97  NOTE: R&SW sent a totally unexpected check for $1000 on this date.  I wrote, “I was shocked…It….made me ask the question, ‘Here I am working 50-60 hours per week for 1/3 of this amount. Should I rely on God 100% to supply our needs while I put 100% of my time into ministry?”

9/8/97 “During the last approx. 4-5 weeks we have been given incredible amounts which total over $16,000 through gifts, and earnings! This is almost too hard to believe.”

12/15/97 “I admit…the past two years…have been a difficult time. Yet, also looking back, there was actually no good reason to be fearful or stressed. …God supplied our every need…God is absolutely trustworthy.”

The Beginning of 1998

Building or remodeling an old house and owning a piece of farm property had been our dream for a long time. Leaving Kenya we'd liquidated everything except the items we brought home in our suitcases. The cash from items we’d been given by our supporting church had been returned to the church’s mission account, but sales from our personal items had been deposited into our personal savings account. So, when Donna and I located the perfect piece of farm land only 9 miles from Jellico we purchased it with money from our savings.  There was no existing house on the property and I had no building experience, but being young and naïve, I thought I could build my own home. Donna thought I could do anything I said I could do, so when no one suggested to us that we couldn't build it, we started. 

I remember walking heel-to-toe across the Florence Avenue rooms estimating their sizes-- guessing my foot was approximately 12 inches. I would then ask Donna if she wanted our house's kitchen, for example, to be larger or smaller than the one at the Florence house. If she indicated she wanted something a little wider or longer I added a few steps until it felt right for her. I then estimated the size of our "kitchen-to-be" based on that. From there I drew ‘blueprints’ on a piece of notebook paper using a standard ruler. We came up with a design and dimensions we thought would suit us. Donna began feeding me pictures and ideas from magazines and house building books. These helped me come up with a drawing of what we wanted from a side view. 

Determining dimensions, numbers of doors and windows, and whether one wants a white or a blue bathroom hardly begins the matter of construction. On the fly I was to learn about the placement of load bearing walls, the depth of footers, the steps necessary to waterproof a wall below ground, plumbing, wiring, codes, etc. The tools which helped me along the way included a step-by-step book a friend had used in building their house, a wiring diagram workbook, and the advice of dozens of men who had experience with laying footers, framing, roofing, electrical, plumbing, etc. I learned quickly and from mistakes. Every step seemed to be agonizingly difficult, but many friends and neighbors help for a few hours or a few days as our notebook paper blueprint came to life. 

I had my family to help too. My sons, Daniel and Caleb, were 12 and 10 when we began. They worked like grown men. Sometimes it was so hot we could only go an hour before we had to rehydrate with slugs of fresh water from our spring. Hours were long too. One night the kids slept in the car after our Wednesday worship meeting while Donna held the light and I lay  flooring until daylight. It was so cold that night that ice formed under our feet while we worked. Though it sound like something from LIttle House on the Prarie,  it is true. 

It didn't take too long for me realized that I had bitten off more than I could chew, but there were no options. The rent on Florence Avenue was consuming our savings.  I was convinced I could build for $25 a square foot and get us into our house debt free. (As of 2013, the house is 98% complete. We’ve hosted somewhere between 3-4 thousand people in our home with many of them being overnight(s).  My sons know how to work hard and can build. Donna and I fondly remember the all-nighter in the freezing temps; the kids don’t remember sleeping in the car. We estimate the cost of our land and construction to be around $27-$28 a square foot. We did it without any debt.) Beyond the house and the good memories, I also have a special creek/pop in my right elbow which I've self-diagnosed as ‘hammer-elbow’.

During all of this my Mother was still suffering from severe and chronic pain. However,  two local doctors (FA and BW) were heroic in the extra measures they took to find her a helpful treatment. Her condition improved greatly under their care though she continued to struggle to some degree round the clock pain. At least, by this point, they were beginning to enable her to function and to sleep. I no longer needed to sleep in the chair by her bed, and she could watch the kids if we needed to step out to the store for a few minutes. 


Somehow we managed to get through 1998. I slept little, but soundly. Fatigue was ever present due to the busyness of  working full time for Dwane, building the house, while also attempting to start a church locally. The church planting effort was the most discouraging, but something in my heart would not release me from plodding on toward it—no matter that the price seemed to be escalating.


These are a few journal entries from 1998 illustrating the things I discussed above.

1/3/98 “First gift of the new year was $75 from BC…If….He (God) will be supplying all our needs through Hi-Tech,  I’ll inform our donors to discontinue, or at least I’ll remind them that their giving should only be as God prompts them.” 

5/25/98 “R&SW sold some stock and sent us all their profit! $604.27!” 6/9/98 “Someone paid our rent anonymously!” 

7/22/98  “I am tired and discouraged.  My work at HTR has yet to be effective this year.  I’ve had no placements (sales or new accounts) in 1998. My house is only at ground level, and we still have no church.  I wonder why I’m here sometimes.”

Our house with it's roof as it is today.

Recruiting was people-work and people were my specialty. So, my new position with Hi-Tech Resources should have been a breeze-- Ha! 

The people weren't the problem, the jargon and culture of IT (information technology) was the struggle. Understanding that in Kenya I'd used a Commodore 128 and 5" floppy discs explains where I was technologically. We'd only gotten a land-line phone about four years before arriving in Jellico! So, the many terms associated with the information systems world, compounded with the worlds of recruiting and business spun my head daily. The phone interviews I had to conduct with programmers, designers, project managers, engineers, and a range of other professionals tightened the knots in my stomach into knots. Happy to have work, I still dreaded each new day and rejoiced --exhaustedly-- when one ended.  

Dwane calmly assured me that it would all come together eventually and that if a professional could not explain to me, in lay terms, what they did, they weren't qualified to do their work. I took comfort in this. There was just one thing in which he could not offer assurance or comfort, and he admitted it.

He had operated a debt-free company and the funds he'd allotted for me and my 'learning curve' were only sufficient for three months. At the end of the three months, if there were no placements (meaning getting someone a job with a client of ours), then the whole thing would be over. Dwane plainly said, "Steve, I don't know if it can be done. It took me 18 months before I made my first placement, but I'm willing to try if you are."

I converted a corner in our bedroom in the attic into a "Hi-Tech" office. There was just enough room for a tiny desk and chair. My tools included internet, a laptop, a fax machine, a cell phone, and prayer. 

4/4/97  On many occasions God has provided in the most unusual and unexpected ways. This entry from early April is an example:  "Received an email from F.G. explaining how he and his wife had formed a Limited Partnership listing GoodSoil Ministries, inc. as the other partner. He would be the General Partner, be liable for any actions against the partnership and own only 10% of the partnership. In other words, GoodSoil would receive 90% of any yield."

He explained, “I was going to place my church into the position of receiving this money on an annual basis, sort of like a tithe, but after discussing this with my wife, and our praying about this, I was led to place your mission into this place.”

The end of the three month trial with Hi-Tech was the last day of June. I had worked hard, but not made my first placement. A couple of possibilities were in the works, but nothing was certain. Dwane and I were praying together and individually. Those knots of mine were worse than ever as I held my breath in hopes that a company in Colleyville, Texas or one in Knoxville, Tennessee might hire candidates I had presented to them. 

June 30th was what Dwane called the "Drop-Dead Deadline".  It no placements by me, or by him had been made then he'd have no choice but to discontinue the opportunity. He wanted it as badly as I, so we both struggled to keep our thoughts calmed and our hearts from leaping into our throats as he spoke to the CFO of the Texas company. It was roughly 4 p.m. EST and the CFO had called to discuss the AS-400 Programmer I'd presented to them and whom they'd interviewed. We'd reached the drop-dead deadline day.

6/30/97   Drop-dead deadline day.  WS the CFO of E-company called while I was interviewing a candidate for Levi Strauss Co.  WS and Dwane discussed several issues on the phone regarding the candidate I’d submitted for a requirement at E-company.  The call was 3-way so I was listening as they discussed details. The conversation wound to a conclusion and then.... WS accepted my candidate!  My first account had come exactly 3 months from when Dwane and I officially began together--to the very day.” 

I glanced at my watch immediately after WS accepted our candidate-- the time was just after 4 pm EST.  The sale/placement had come in the final hour of the final day and netted Hi-Tech Resources $10,000.00 which was double what Dwane had allotted  when he hired me. This ensured I’d have work for another 3-6 months. Praise the Lord for blessing us both!

For a few hours, my knots disappeared. Whew! the first half of 1997 was past.  It would prove, by comparison, to be the dull half.

When you are on bottom, any good news is a boost, but it is even better when it is completely unexpected.


3/30/97 Received an email from someone from Harding (my college alma mater) named Dwane.  I looked him up in the yearbook. I vaguely recall him. He said he heard about our work through a mutual friend in Florida (Keith). Dwane had been a vocational missionary in the Pacific Northwest and received one of our newsletters from Keith. He emailed me asking to talk with me. Less than an hour after getting the email, I got a call from him. He wants to meet with me in Knoxville to talk. I hope he has some insights into how we can do better. I can use the advice.

4/1/97 “Today, I went to Knoxville to meet with Dwane.”…

NOTE: The next entry in my journal is long. This is the account in abbreviated form: 

I met Dwane in the lobby of a nice hotel he'd suggested. Immediately I felt very out of my comfort zone. I'm a country boy and a 'bush missionary', so these posh surroundings were intimidating. Dwane introduced himself telling me he had two young daughters and a wife and he asked about my family. I thought this was a good start and he didn't carry the same airs as our surroundings.

The conversation shifted at some point to business. I was anxious to learn from him about how he and his wife had worked at church planting and carried on a vocation in the Northwest, but his direction was different, and I recognized it quickly. The emphasis of this meeting was not at all what I'd expected. Dwane wasn't here to give me advice on missions; he had called this meeting in answer to another of my prayers --- he was offering me a job! 

Quickly, however, I was lost in a jungle of unfamiliar jargon. IT and IS were not "it" and "is", but abbreviations for something connected with computers. He spoke of "languages", "requirements", "platforms", "systems", and all sorts of things which didn't mean in this conversation what they'd meant in the English sentences I'd grown up with. I tried to follow, but honestly, I could not understand exactly what he was talking about, but I listened on. My missionary training came into play since for most of my early years in Kenya I'd been lost in conversations in which I did not have full mastery of the language. So, I grasped what I could.

What I could understand was that this man had his family as a priority, that he did what he did to honor God, that he was asking me to consider joining his company, and that he was a man who prayed. (Leading a prayer at the close of our meeting). I understood those and they were the important elements anyway. So, I took him up on his offer.

Specifically, he asked that over the next 2 weeks I listen to about 25 hours of VHS tapes related to his business. (Turns out he owned Hi-Tech Resources-- a small recruiting company for information technology professionals.)  I agreed. Then, he said, "Good. If you want to proceed after that, then we will start. In the meantime, I want to pay you $500 for your time listening to the tapes." Maybe it is a 'man-thing', but it just felt very good for someone to value me that much. I had not been paid that much money for my time in a very long while.  On the drive home I prayed, I praised, and....(this isn't a very 'man-thing')...I fought, but could not defeat, tears. It felt that good to be valued and it felt that good to realize how close God was to me and my prayers. 

A real job! We again had a glimmer of hope and were refreshed, but only briefly. There were 'catches' in the arrangement. Dwane's position had limited guarantees and tall hurdles. I had three months to accomplish what Dwane admitted had taken him a full eighteen months. Again, it was clear that only by God's help in answer to our prayers could the necessary requirements be provided. 

We all stand on the shoulders of those before us. I was standing on those of George Muller, who had stood on those of A.H. Francke. Both were bulwarks of faith in God as provider. You will see in these entries from 1997 how we needed those tall shoulders to continue to trust in God for our provisions and strength. As we continued to adjust to our surroundings and circumstances in Appalachia, we were under a great pressure, but Deuteronomy 8:1-6 informs us that God applies pressure to test the integrity of our hearts.  I did not understand this principle entering 1997 in the same way I would exiting it.

1/2/97 “Memory Verse: ‘Some trust in chariots, some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God’ Psalm 20:7”

2/1/97 “I am remembering the men and women of the past who were literally down to their last penny when God recued them. I’m not there yet so, I should just keep working and wait on Him.”

2/3/97 “O LORD, I’m going to take another $1500-$2000 from our savings today to pay our bills. Please, help me see and understand joblessness from your perspective.  I can only guess that this is a season of refinement-- an equipping for ministry. Jesus became poor—then he preached to the poor with powerful words and stories. Perhaps the same is needed for me, but it is really tough.

2/16/97  Received this letter from a friend who’d just finalized the adoption of a child.

            Steve,  This money is part of a thank offering for (name of child). Please, have no hesitation to use it as you need….   Brotherly love,   O.

The note included a check for $400.00.

2/28/97 “Sigh. I’m tired. My prayers are just repetitions from yesterday, and last week, and the month before. It isn’t that I doubt Him at all. I’m just weary from the duration of the wait—15 months of ups-n-downs….

Today’s hopes become tomorrow’s disappointments and I’d just as soon avoid the steep fall from elevated expectations.  I feel like a P.O.W. must.  I know we’ll win the war, and that help is on the way, but I’ve watched the skies and strained to hear a chopper’s wings "whop-whop-whop" so long, that it’s easier not to always be looking up. I can’t wait for it to be over, but until it is…it isn’t.

"LORD, the drought is difficult. Waiting is hard. I sure wish this were over. Meanwhile, I know what I should ask for—patience and help to endure. Help me endure, but also…..send relief. We need an income. Please, bless my work with growth, but LORD, be quick to respond to both endurance and income. Thank you.”

3/3/97 A $1000 gift from R&SW and an encouraging note! 

3/8/97 “Several times in the past 2 weeks the words in John 14:27 have come to me and on two occasions it was during prayer. ‘Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid.’ I have found comfort in these verses.”

3/14/97  My mother's health was a cause for concern and attention. Her body was in pain around the clock and the meds she took often had odd side effects. When she could rest at night, her body would sometimes twitch violently. For a time I slept in a chair placed at the side of her bed as a kind of 'bumper guard'. If a muscle spasm sent her too close to the edge, it would wake me and I could keep her from falling to the floor. 

Broken sleep combined with the drain of stress from searching for work have exhausted me. I went to the farm this morning, not to work, but to be alone with God and to think. As soon as I arrived I was overwhelmed with drowsiness so I napped. When I awoke, I immediately fell asleep again. The second time I awoke it was due to being startled by a knock on the body of the truck (I’d fallen asleep in the truck). The knock was a fallen walnut on the roof, but it caused me to become fully awake. I felt refreshed and alert. I believe the LORD knew I needed this rest.

After waking the second time, I read some of 1 and 2 Corinthians. 2 Corinthians was especially meaningful.  The thoughts that most affected me were 2 Corinthians 1:9b, 3:4-6, 4:7, 4:11, and 6:3-10.  Specifically, I was refreshed in being reminded from Paul's insightful teaching that sometimes when things are difficult it is to show us that there are matters larger than ourselves, and that we need God.  Sometimes, it seems it was for Paul’s good that hardships came, while at other times it was for his listener’s benefit that he suffered.

I also found in 2 Corinthians 6:3-10 some things I’ve recently struggled with.

Having read and considered these verses, I stepped out of my truck, walked a few feet, and prayed. Actually, I began praying aloud when it seemed that God –through my thoughts- began addressing what I was going to pray about!  He instructed me to, ‘Keep on, one day at a time, doing whatever He put before me to do that day."  

I was about to ask Him, “But what am I to do, and what about the future?” when the answer came, “Trust me.” It seems I’m to trust Him a day at a time. I’m to follow Him without an idea of where we’re headed. Sounds like Abram’s situation, or Moses’ (Not at all comparing myself to them, but comparing with their call to follow Him into an unknown future.).”

NOTE: During the end of March I bottomed out.  Africa had difficult days in its own ways—malaria, threats of violence, cultural clashes, government instability—but March in Appalachia holds its own room in my “Museum of Low Moments”. Though God had provided for us for months, it was a daily, grinding sort of thing. I never knew what was ahead of this week, or today (except for bills that I knew would be due). I had not learned to comfortably trust Him. (Biblically, this is known as “doubting”.)  My stomach stayed in a knot. In other words, “I worried.” This worry was a sign that I had not yet understood God.

Most employees arrive Monday morning and put in their forty hours till Friday. The boss pays them at the end of the week. What would the boss think if his employee took the check and with obvious relief sighed aloud, “Wonderful! I am so very thankful. I thought I might not be paid this week!”? If I were the boss, I’d get the idea that my employee doubted my honesty.

Most employees expect their employer will pay them. When pay checks are delivered, few worry if it will bounce. Such an attitude would actually reveal the employee’s distrust of his employer’s abilities or integrity.  In my case,  I was not yet trusting my employer—God. (You can look forward to 3/11/00 when I'll report evidence of growth in this area.)

After several weeks it was apparent that sign painting was not going to be the answer to our income needs. I was too slow and speedy equipment was so expensive that investing in it seemed too great a risk. At the same time, local evangelism was stagnant. Casual friendships were growing in number, but meaningful in-roads into the community were not. I saw the overwhelming community needs (spiritual and social), but had not found anyone open to the personal changes that community healing would require.  Almost daily I doubted the decision to move to Jellico, but some deep sense of having been chosen for this place/people would not let me walk away. This inner conviction held my feet in the fire. I believed that God wanted to do something significant for Appalachia, and He wanted us involved.

Looking back, during that month I was on the bottom, but God was not far away. He never is--especially when we are on the bottom, or squeezing our last penny. The next entry in my journal demonstrates the unimaginable way in which He lifted us up on tall shoulders.